MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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