Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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