try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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