u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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