Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
