Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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