So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're like the curious george of whores
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
