I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My ass is underappreciated
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
