i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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