your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
