We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Randomize
