How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
