never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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