I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
