Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
