its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
