it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
