Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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