How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
