btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
