HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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