Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
