I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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