i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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