I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
And then he peed in my hair
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