Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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