is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
