OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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