I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize