I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
