Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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