seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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