We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Drake has all the answers
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
