"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
