We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
