my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Will exercising make me less horny?
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