my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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