your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
