My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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