I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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