Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would fuck him just for his dog
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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