he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
