I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
