At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
