I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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