Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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