Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
