im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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