I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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