So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
