I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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