no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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