did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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