I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
