were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize