Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
