I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
