Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
