did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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