On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
please come you make the beer taste better
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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