i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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