she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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