I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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