Me too!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize